錄取賓大M&T在申請季會經(jīng)歷怎樣的自我認(rèn)知？

Category: 高端夏校 Date: 2018年7月29日下午2:21

這是一篇全英文的申請分享，由錄取賓大M&T工程的喬甲魚同學(xué)所寫。不過不用擔(dān)心，我們的另一位貼心學(xué)員已經(jīng)幫大家翻譯成了中文。大家可以自由選擇語言，來體會喬甲魚同學(xué)（化名）的申請季所經(jīng)歷的自我認(rèn)知?dú)v程。

英文版

“There are these two young fish swimming along and they happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way, who nods at them and says ‘Morning, boys. How's the water?’ And the two young fish swim on for a bit, and then eventually one of them looks over at the other and goes ‘What the hell is water?’”

1.?Books

The quote above introduces one of my favorite speeches, delivered by David Foster Wallace in Kenyon College in 2005. It is, perhaps, a great?representation of what I have gotten out of my Groton education and the whole college process –?awareness of and appreciation?towards who I?am and my surroundings.

The first book I read at Groton was This Boy’s Life?by Tobias Wolff, which recounted his escapes and struggles to find his identity. The book stuck with?me?for a very long time,?and although I couldn’t tell at the time,?it?foreshadowed my own struggles to establish my own self (although not as dramatic as Wolff’s experience) throughout my Groton career.

I encountered one of my favorite books during the winter semester of my senior?year, when our class read To the Lighthouse. It was a difficult book to read, and I?was most grateful?that I was able to discuss it with a group. The book taught me much about beauty, hope, truth, and have inspired me to find my own meaning in life. Here’s one of my favorite parts in the book:

“What is the meaning of life? That was all- a simple question; one that tended to close in on one with years, the great revelation had never come. The great revelation perhaps never did come. Instead, there were little daily miracles, illuminations, matches struck unexpectedly in the dark; here was one.”

This quote was used in my Princeton essay, and it remains written, to this date, on the first page of my journal. This is something I?hope to keep in mind of –?to cherish?these little sparkles?that life has granted me.

2. Sports

I started running cross country in my ninth grade year. I disliked it at first –?I?hated the pain and stress that came along with the races, which I?sometimes had to deal with on top of 2-hour sleep?(yep I have a terrible sleeping schedule). Nevertheless I?managed to stick with the sport for four years, partly because I?wasn’t bad at it and partly because I?was afraid?to try something else new. Gradually through the Sunday recovery runs along the Nashua River I started bonding with my running buddies, and running, too, has become a stress-relief mechanism for me. It made me happier and focus?on my school work?better, so I kept going. Last November I?attempted?my first half marathon; this February I finished another with a friend.

Here’s a quote from Bojack Horseman about running: “Bojack, when you get sad, you run straight ahead and you keep running forward, no matter what. There are people in your life who are gonna try to hold you back, slow you down, but you don’t let them. Don’t you stop running and don’t you ever look behind you. There’s nothing for you behind you. All that exists is what’s ahead.”

The?quote?seems to?explain why I?have enjoyed this sport so much. Running made me feel like I?was going forward, that I?was looking ahead and getting somewhere. This sense of purpose, coupled with good conversations and beautiful rural?sceneries?at Groton, always made me feel present?and reassured in my direction.

Aside from cross country, tennis has been an important sport to me since little. Like running, it has also taught me to bond with others, to be confident in myself, and to work towards a set goal, one point at a time.

3. The People

“Groton is about the people”?–?I’ve heard that so many times during morning chapel talks all four years at Groton?that I?am sick of it, but to a large extent it’s true. My high school career has been defined by my teachers and fellow classmates, and now having gone through Groton, I?think I?can tell you what a good connection, a good conversation with others feels like. It’s like arguing about astrology in the dining hall, yelling on top of each other. Running along the Nash. Finishing a book with a friend and going on talking about it for hours. Hearing a friend performing Liszt for the twentieth time on her senior recital but somehow still touched by it. Gossiping with?Mr. Whiteman about his love life?during Saturday night check-ins. Mr. Creamer writing to you after graduation saying that your?words to him “help to make his work worth it”. Stuff like that.

I also made some connections outside of school. Last summer I went to a research camp in Texas Tech, where I met twelve other similar-minded students doing research in different areas. It was so great being part of such an intimate group and learning the different subjects that people were passionate about. In my tenth grade summer I met some of my best friends through a mathematics program at Ohio State University. We went on a graduation trip together?this June, and one night at 3AM, as we were lying there on the bed, still talking, we all started reflecting upon our high school career. There were regrets – it?was with a strange consensus?that we all wished that rather than being so stressed-out and so “unaware”?of what was around during the past four years, we could’ve spent more time reading, trying out new activities,?and?getting to know more friends, teachers. Those things, rather than grades and reports, are the ones that stick in my memories and that define me.

4. The College Process

So perhaps the college?process, for me, was something that brought all of these aspects together –?my love for books, sports, and the people surrounding me –?and it was through answering all the tedious questions?regarding my activities?on the college application that made me thought of what running, tennis, music, and reading have all meant to me. After four years of seeking, I finally started to answer the questions about who I?am, and although they were not perfect, these were the first answers I?had written down, turning into my college essays, my interview responses, and my perception of myself. For that reason I?am extremely grateful for my counselor Jason and for my friends through Groton, Ross, Clark Scholars, and Ivyuan, who helped me realize these passions and sculpted who I am today.

I would like to end this essay with the end of that same speech by David Foster Wallace:

“The capital-T Truth is about life before?death.It is about the real value of a real education, which has almost nothing to do with knowledge, and everything to do with simple awareness; awareness of what is so real and essential, so hidden in plain sight all around us, all the time, that we have to keep reminding ourselves over and over:‘This is water.’

‘This is water.’

It is unimaginably hard to do this, to stay conscious and alive in the adult world day in and day out. Which means yet another grand cliché turns out to be true: your education really?is?the job of a lifetime. And it commences: now.”

I?really hope this kind of awareness of ourselves and of our surroundings, despite all its changing nature, will remain –?and that’s what my four years in high school and the college process have taught me.

中文版

“兩條年輕的魚兒順流而下，與一只逆行向上的老魚不期而遇。老魚點(diǎn)頭致意，并問道：‘早上好，年輕人。水感覺怎么樣？’兩條年輕的魚兒游了游，終于其中一條轉(zhuǎn)過頭來，說道：‘水是什么鬼東西？’”

1. 書籍

以上文字摘自David Foster Wallace 2005年在Kenyon College的發(fā)言，是我最愛的演講之一。它大概很好地詮釋了我自Groton的教育、自整個大學(xué)申請過程的所獲：對“我之所以為我“和對我身邊種種人和事的明悟與欣賞。

我在Groton讀過的第一本書是Tobias Wolff的This Boy’s Life，講述了作者在追尋自我的途中的種種逃避與掙扎。在此后漫長的時間里，這本書都潛移默化地影響著我。那時的我還不知道，它其實(shí)預(yù)示了我在Groton尋找自我的歲月中同樣坎坷的路途（雖然不比Wolff自己的經(jīng)歷那樣跌宕起伏）。

在十二年級的冬天，我們課上組織閱讀To the Lighthouse——又是一本令我愛極了的書。書寫得非常的艱深晦澀，因此我很慶幸我是與一眾人一起探討它。關(guān)于美、希望、真理，它教了我許多，也鼓舞了我去尋找我人生的意義。以下是書中我最喜歡的片段之一：

“人生的意義是什么？這就是問題的全部。一個簡單的問題。一個隨著歲月流逝，不斷逼近的問題。只是該來的大徹大悟卻從未曾來過。或許那大徹大悟永遠(yuǎn)都不會來。反而日常中有著許許多多的奇跡與光彩，宛如黑暗中不經(jīng)意被擦燃的火柴；這兒就有一個。”

我在Princeton的文書里也曾引用過這段話。而時至今日，它也依然被我寫在日記的第一頁。我希望能銘記其中的領(lǐng)悟 –珍惜我生命中所有微小的花火。

Summer

Sunshine

2. 體育

我從九年級起開始跑越野長跑（cross country）。本來，我是拒絕的。我對一次又一次比賽帶來的傷痛和壓力感到深惡痛絕，遑論往往只能睡2小時（當(dāng)然我蛋疼的睡眠習(xí)慣也要背一部分鍋）。但無論如何，四年越野長跑我還是撐下來了，一方面因?yàn)槲遗艿眠€不賴，另一方面因?yàn)槲乙膊惶覈L試其他的新事物。漸漸地，在周日沿著Nashua河岸的放松跑中，我和我的跑友們結(jié)下了革命友誼，而跑步本身也演變成了我減壓的方式。它讓我更快樂、更能專注于功課，因此我也堅持了下去。去年十一月，我嘗試了第一個半程馬拉松。今年二月，我和朋友跑完了另一個。

以下是馬男波杰克中關(guān)于跑步的臺詞：“波杰克。當(dāng)你憂傷的時候，就朝著前方直直地跑，一直跑下去，不顧一切。這一生中總有人會想拉住你，拖住你的腳步，但千萬別讓他們得逞。永遠(yuǎn)不要停止奔跑，更不要回頭看。你的身后空無一切。唯有在你前方的才是真實(shí)存在的。”

這段話解釋了我為何如此愛體育。跑步讓我感受到我在向前行走、我在看向前方、在抵達(dá)一個新的地方。這種方向感，加上那些在Groton 所有美好的對話、所有美好的田野景致，總是讓我明確感知：我真切地活在現(xiàn)世；總讓我重拾方向。

除開跑步，網(wǎng)球也是一項自小就對我很重要的運(yùn)動。就像跑步一樣，它教我要同他人緊緊相連、要對自己充滿信心、要一步一個腳印地定下目標(biāo)再去完成。

3. 人

“Groton最重要的就是它這里的人。”在早上的教堂談話中，我一次又一次聽到這樣的話語。我的老師和同學(xué)們造就了我的高中生涯。而通過我在Groton的經(jīng)歷，我想我也能夠告訴你一段好的關(guān)系、一番好的對話應(yīng)該是怎樣的。它應(yīng)該是在食堂里大呼小叫地研討占星術(shù)；在Nash河畔奔跑；在讀完一本書后與朋友促膝長談；在朋友的畢業(yè)音樂會上第二十次聽她奏響李斯特，卻依舊能為之感動；在星期六晚上簽到時，同我的老師Whiteman八卦他的羅曼史；在畢業(yè)后，Creamer老師談到我對他的寄語如何“讓他感到一切的辛苦都是值得的”。諸如此類。

在學(xué)校之外，我同樣也結(jié)下了不少友誼。上個夏天，我去Texas Tech參加一個研究性夏校，便認(rèn)識了十二個和我擁有相似靈魂的同學(xué)，盡管我們從事著不同方向的研究。我很幸運(yùn)能加入那樣親密無間的一個團(tuán)體，了解他人所熱衷的種種的科目。在十年級的夏天，通過參加Ross數(shù)學(xué)夏令營，我也結(jié)識了許多很好的朋友。今年六月，我們還在一起度過畢業(yè)旅行。有天晚上，凌晨3點(diǎn)，當(dāng)我們都在開臥談會時，我們開始回顧各自的高中歷程。有后悔—我們在某個觀點(diǎn)上鬼畜地一致：回頭看過去的四年，我們都認(rèn)為我們該更多地閱讀，更多地嘗試新鮮的活動，以及去認(rèn)識更多的朋友和老師，而非每天都承受著巨大的壓力，對周圍發(fā)生的一切一無所知。這些才是最終被銘刻在我們記憶中、定義我們的事情，而非成績和報告。

4.?大學(xué)申請過程

所以，與我而言，大學(xué)申請的過程或許是所有這些經(jīng)歷的一種集合—我對書、對體育、對我身邊人的熱愛—而通過回答申請中各種各樣關(guān)于活動的乏味的問題，我也得以反思跑步、網(wǎng)球、音樂與閱讀于我的意義。歷經(jīng)四年的追索，我終于開始了解答“我是誰”這個問題。盡管還不算完善，這些卻是我首次寫下的答案。它們又隨后演變成了我的申請文書、面試回答和我對我自己的認(rèn)知。因此，我也十分感謝我的顧問Jason和我在Groton、Ross、Clark Scholars和常青匯認(rèn)識的朋友們。他們使我認(rèn)識到我的熱情所在，也恒久地雕塑了現(xiàn)在的我。

我想以David Foster Wallace在開頭的同一篇演講來結(jié)束這篇文章：

“大寫的‘真相’是關(guān)于死亡之前的人生。它是關(guān)于一個真正的教育的真正的價值。這種教育最與一種樸素的覺悟有關(guān)，而幾乎與知識無關(guān)。這是一種關(guān)于什么才是真實(shí)的、什么才是最重要的的覺悟。它一直以來被深埋在我們身旁平凡的景致中。我們因此需要一遍又一遍提醒自己：‘這就是水。’

‘這就是水。’

在成人的世界里進(jìn)退之間保持著清醒、保證自己還真正活著，并不是件難于登天的事。這也意味著，某個老生常談的話其實(shí)字字璣珠：你的教育真的是一項一生的事業(yè)。而它從現(xiàn)在便開始。”

我真的希望這樣的一種對自我、對身旁一切的清醒認(rèn)知會留在我心里，就算它也會歷經(jīng)種種改變。而這就是高中四年和大學(xué)申請所教會我的。

END

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